The Raging Lunatic Christmas Mom

I have two distinct personalities during the holidays.

The rest of the year, I have many different personalities, but during the holidays there are only two of me. Let me introduce you!


Happy Christmas Angel

She is ALL ABOUT family, food, decorating, shopping, time with friends – you name it. If it’s part of holiday tradition, she is IN. She has energy for days, can plan parties, wrap gifts, bake dozens of cookies and does it with a smile and a wink. She only drinks a little (for celebratory purposes) and she never forgets the reason for the season, lighting Advent candles and reciting scripture to her children.

Then there is THE OTHER.


Raging Lunatic Christmas Mom

She is . . deranged. Turkeys that are over-done or under-done send her into screaming fits. Family members who do not appreciate her efforts can expect yelling and eventually icy glances and slamming cupboard doors. She cannot understand why God placed her in a family of idiots that do not get why it’s so important that the tree lights be EVEN, Damnit, and I swear the next person who says there’s no food while she SLAVES over yet another baking assignment is going to lose a body part. She has been known to literally rip a live, dead tree out of the stand, remove all the ornaments and drop if at the Home Depot demanding her money back. Once she fully undecorated the tree because who’s idea was it to put LED lights on this thing it looks like an alien ship and it disgusts me. I mean her. And she drinks A LOT. Because if you had to live with these people you would, too . . . .

I never really know who will show up more often. But I think the key to my happiness may be in showing them both the door and trying to find somebody sane to hang out with . I mean be.

Because it’s Christmas and I am blessed. And with all that’s wrong in the world, there is much that is right, and taking out all my fears about EVERYTHING on poor Christmas is just plain wrong. So let’s all try to relax and enjoy. And praise Jesus for coming to earth to save us from ourselves.

I want to remember to love my family for who they are and to be grateful every day for the opportunity to be in their lives.

But seriously, LED lights on Christmas trees are offensive.


Musings and Ramblings and Happy Holidays

Everything I think to write about seems stupid and superfluous.

There’s so much hate right now. Did I tell you we saw a KKK recruitment sign on the side of the freeway on the way home from the beach? Yup. Banked on either side with Confederate flags.

White friends tell me I’m over-stating it.

Black friends wonder why the white friends don’t say anything.

Muslim friends are terrified.

LGBT friends are rushing into marriage, which is never a good idea, because they’re worried soon they won’t be allowed to anymore.

Fellow Christians have disappointed me Big League.

Not so much with what they’ve said, but with what they’ve left unsaid. Who they let represent “us”. And by us I guess I mean just white Christians because for some reasons black Christians and white Christians have been on opposite sides politically for quite some time. That doesn’t make sense to me. Not at all.

And I don’t even get the whole pipeline thing but people protesting to save their water shouldn’t be pelted with ice cold water I’m thinking. Need to do more research on that.

I know how to call my congressmen now so that’s good. Called them about Bannon. Have to call them next week about that billionaire education lady and a few other things. This is going to be a thing now, evidently. Oh, and checking that news isn’t fake. That’s a thing now, too. Because I didn’t have enough to do.

Gilmore Girls was good. Really good. A friend said she was disappointed but maybe too much pre-advertising created a false sense of perfection. And life fulfillment. ¬†From a show on Netflix. The Crown is pretty good, too. She’s a believable strong female character. I like that. Good queen.

Most of my Christmas decorations are up. I need to run, clearly, and I need to write things about running. I guess. But I don’t seem to want to write anything much at all. And now that I don’t work full time I have a lot of time to write so that seems like a big old waste, but since I decided not to monetize I wonder why bother. Turns out getting paid was motivating.

My kids hate me posting pictures of them on social media and I’m on social media way too much and so I end up looking like a crazy single woman who takes lots of selfies on beach vacations by herself. And who the hell cares what people on social media think anyway? But the beach was good. Centering.

Rambling . . .confused . . angry . . hurt . . . hopeful? Yes. Choosing hope.

May your Christmas season be joyful. And peaceful. And not filled with bloggers who ramble. And I promise, I’ve only had the one glass of wine.