FIVE REASONS WHY RUNNING A MARATHON IS STUPID

Well, I was kind of wondering when this would hit, and here it is. Everybody talks about the wall DURING the marathon itself, but what nobody tells you, and what I’m not sure happens to anyone but me, is the wall you hit DURING your training.

And I’ve hit it hard, folks.

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I’m supposed to run 5 miles today, 8 miles tomorrow, 5 miles Thursday and then 18 miles on Saturday and I don’t even want to walk the dog.

Yes, there are contributing reasons. Job hunting for the first time since 1989, for example (jobs just sort of always found me. I know.). Add to that my mom visiting, it being FREEZING cold outside, and it getting dark at like 2pm and I just want to eat things, drink all the wine, and sit in front of the fire.

But talking about it helps.

And I’m really hoping I’m not alone. But in reality, training to run a marathon is pretty dumb and pointless. Here’s why:

  1. It takes away all your free time. Especially at this point in the training – if I were running all the mileage (which for the last 2 weeks I HAVE NOT) I’d be spending hours every week. That totally stinks.
  2. 26.2 miles is an arbitrary number based on a journey that a Roman guy took. Oh, and just a side note, he dropped dead when he got to his destination. WHY would we want to emulate such an idiotic thing? No idea. Oh, and bonus, the .2 was because during the Olympics in England the king and queen wanted to see the men run by so they added the .2 so they could run by the palace. Please.
  3. It hurts. Although so far I’m fairly pain free, it won’t last. And at the end of my long runs, and for sure at the end of the race, stuff is going to hurt. Life is hard enough. Why in the world would I sign up for pain?
  4. I’ve already done this 3X. Can’t call it a bucket list thing or even that I’m trying to prove something. Nothing to prove. Yes, I’m a real runner. Blah blah blah. Who cares. Bring me ice cream.
  5. Running 18 miles on a Saturday (as I am scheduled to do this week) is maybe THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD ANYONE DO.

So are you waiting for the second list? You know, the one with all the reasons why I SHOULD do it? Don’t have that list. Not today. But I’m going to go run anyway. And when I cross that finish line in January (and I WILL cross that finish line), I might feel like writing the other post. And then again, maybe not. I’m gonna go watch Spirit of the Marathon AGAIN and try to get my mojo back. And if you know a marathon runner who tells you this has never happened to them they are either lying or please don’t connect us on FB or twitter. Because I won’t like them.

Jen

10 thoughts on “FIVE REASONS WHY RUNNING A MARATHON IS STUPID

  1. HAHA this is brilliant! And oh so very true! I’ve hit a MASSIVE wall during training for each and every marathon I’ve done. At least once I’ve questioned my sanity during training…but somehow I got through it. You will too because you are a champion! Keep on fighting girl!

  2. Thank you for sharing! I have questioned why the hell am I putting myself through this?!? But here we all are. Crazy together and we will persevere. I said the same thing when I was training for my first 1/2 and I just completed number 5 so I think (more so hope) this too shall pass and well kill it in January!!

  3. I think it’s much better to higher weekly mileage than it is to go after long runs that wear you down. I also believe you should be running for maybe 5 years before you attempt one. It shouldn’t be about ‘can I finish this race?’ You should be in kind of shape where you don’t even ask yourself that question. The hardest marathon I ever ran was when I ran my slowest time. The easiest one was when I ran my fastest time. I did not hit a wall in that race.

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