The Raging Lunatic Christmas Mom

I have two distinct personalities during the holidays.

The rest of the year, I have many different personalities, but during the holidays there are only two of me. Let me introduce you!

15241807_10154622812151280_8497338892126425885_n

Happy Christmas Angel

She is ALL ABOUT family, food, decorating, shopping, time with friends – you name it. If it’s part of holiday tradition, she is IN. She has energy for days, can plan parties, wrap gifts, bake dozens of cookies and does it with a smile and a wink. She only drinks a little (for celebratory purposes) and she never forgets the reason for the season, lighting Advent candles and reciting scripture to her children.

Then there is THE OTHER.

15192763_10154636240271280_8396948527558292443_n

Raging Lunatic Christmas Mom

She is . . deranged. Turkeys that are over-done or under-done send her into screaming fits. Family members who do not appreciate her efforts can expect yelling and eventually icy glances and slamming cupboard doors. She cannot understand why God placed her in a family of idiots that do not get why it’s so important that the tree lights be EVEN, Damnit, and I swear the next person who says there’s no food while she SLAVES over yet another baking assignment is going to lose a body part. She has been known to literally rip a live, dead tree out of the stand, remove all the ornaments and drop if at the Home Depot demanding her money back. Once she fully undecorated the tree because who’s idea was it to put LED lights on this thing it looks like an alien ship and it disgusts me. I mean her. And she drinks A LOT. Because if you had to live with these people you would, too . . . .

I never really know who will show up more often. But I think the key to my happiness may be in showing them both the door and trying to find somebody sane to hang out with . I mean be.

Because it’s Christmas and I am blessed. And with all that’s wrong in the world, there is much that is right, and taking out all my fears about EVERYTHING on poor Christmas is just plain wrong. So let’s all try to relax and enjoy. And praise Jesus for coming to earth to save us from ourselves.

I want to remember to love my family for who they are and to be grateful every day for the opportunity to be in their lives.

But seriously, LED lights on Christmas trees are offensive.

Jen

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.